glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
