How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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