I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
