i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
