If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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