so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
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i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
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I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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