He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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