Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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