I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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