Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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