She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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