Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
