I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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