i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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