wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
