I want to stick my p in your. b.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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