Your dad touched me again.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
