if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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