I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
