Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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