Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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