Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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