thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
