there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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