do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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