Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize