so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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