The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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