I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
