And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
