I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
