You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
