Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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