Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
