yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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