my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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