Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize