God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
