My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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