I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
