Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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