some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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