maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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