Small penises have feelings too.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
