Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize