Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
