im about as happy as oj after his trial
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
please don't ironically join a cult
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