so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
