What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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