just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
