I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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