Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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