Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
