I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
