Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
