he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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