I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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