I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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