Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
