i would one night stand the shit outta him
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
